9th of Uktar - Therogeon & Ashara - Ship to Zazesspur

Just because a person grows up taking boat trips on a lake does NOT mean they're ready to be out a ship in the middle of the Trackless Sea. With the season of STORMS closing in no less...

Ashara had managed to hold it together during her prayers at dawn, but just barely. She had NO idea how Elric could to do his morning training with the deck heaving under foot, and as much as she would have liked to stay and watch, she was turning a shade of green that faintly resembled asparagus.

She pulled her cloak tightly around her body to ward off the cold as she carefully made her way back below decks. When she reached her cabin, she noticed the light streaming from under the door of the room just beyond hers. Therogeon's room.

Gwilly had broken down in tears last night over him. The priestess still had the faint, salty rings staining the chest of her vestments as proof of that. The pixie desired only to be his friend... Ashara wished that as well, but knew that could never happen unless the mage let down his guard a bit. Even if he was willing, she wondered if it was possible for him.

Therogeon made her nervous. He was the only member of CoRD that did so. It wasn't the magic he wielded, or the secrets he kept...not even the fact that he could blow the ship out of the water if he couldn't control the power of the Silver Flame... The mage didn't trust her. After the things she had done, she couldn't blame him of course, but Ashara had no idea how to earn that trust back.

She approached Therogeon's cabin and was about to knock gently when the ship pitched violently to starboard, throwing her hard against the door.

Ashara groaned, rubbing her bruised shoulder. How many more days would they be out here?

Sighing, she knocked on the mage's door.

"Therogeon? May I speak with you?"

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The Silver Flame coursed its way through his body. He could feel it flowing with his blood, empowering him, invigorating him. The pure unadulterated power of his patron Goddess. He knew it was temporary, that it's warm glow would leave him, especially after many more trips like the ones he made last night. Teleporting to Zazesspur was dangerous with his new power but a necessary risk to provide the party for Gwilly and the others.

Still, none of that helped him sleep. Oh he did sleep occasionally, though he was gone most of the night last night. When he got back this morning, the early morning storm definitely made sleeping impossible. Oh well, he could study some of his new "toys" and try not to get too seasick. Seasick? Wait, didn't he have a mixture to help prevent that? Of course he did, only where did he put it? He stood and only wobbled slightly as he walked to his books. Hah, take that Trackless Sea, Therogeon's got his sea legs. Of course that was when the ship heaved and he fell hard onto the floor.

*BANG*

Therogeon looked up from the ground where he had fallen. That bang had come not from him hitting the floor but rather the doorway. It was followed a few seconds later a couple softer knocks.

"Therogeon? May I speak with you?"

He stood as comfortably as he could and slowly made his way to the door. He opened it with a slight grimace, all the better to hide his newfound conversion. He could tell Ashara, hell, it was almost requisite he tell her. She had the group funds he would probably need to dip into to afford this party.

"Ashara? Please come in. Tell me, what do I owe the pleasure?"

He stepped back and politely motioned for her to come in.

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"Ashara? Please come in. Tell me, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

The faint disapproval on his face caused the kind greeting to seem more mocking than sincere. The priestess eyed him warily as she stepped into his tiny room. Wincing slightly, she rubbed her shoulder again and sat down on a stool that the crew had wisely bolted to the floor.

"I...I wanted to see how you were doing... You didn't say much at the group meeting last night, and given all that you've been through over the last few days, I just wanted to make sure you were...alright."

Ashara absentmindedly wrapped a braid around her hand as she continued.

"Also," she hesitated slightly before looking into the strange, new light in his eyes, "I spoke with Gwilly last night. She's slightly upset that she hasn't yet gotten the party you promised her, and she's hoping that we'll be able to do that when we get back to Impresk."

She winced again, this time in preparation for the onslaught of hostility that was likely to come...

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He actually delayed his response slightly. He hoped it wasn't noticeable, but he was in shock. She was actually afraid of him. Is this what he has become? A person to be respected out of fear? The very thing he was supposed to protect against. Inwardly he sighed, he really should have seen this coming.

"I am sorry, I appear to have upset you. I do not get much sleep lately ever since the Silver Flame. As for Gwilly, well, we will have her party, when I am ready to throw it. I'm sorry but I still believe there is too much going on to just simply relax. I know that is an anathema to her, but it's true non the less."

He held up a hand to forestall arguing. Man this rankled, he wanted to hug her and apologize for his behavior but then he'd have to tell her about the party and after he realized she was afraid of him, he wanted her to be as surprised as Gwilly. "That is how I feel, I'm sorry."

He took a deep breath, "As for myself, well, I am tired. We just came through something very intense and it changed me in ways even I do not fully understand. I do not sleep well, if at all. Everything we've seen, everything I've seen recently has had.... repercussions even I did not expect."

Therogeon looked up at Ashara, a brief look of sadness flashing in his eyes before their usual calm and composed arrogance returned, "I am tired and frustrated about a great many things. Answers seem to float just out of sight, so that I think if I just lean forward a bit, I'll be able to see them. Only to watch them float further away. It often seems that no matter how many successes I have, something comes along to push victory out of reach. And truthfully? I am terrified of the power I now possess. Not because of what it can do or how powerful it is, but rather what I'll do when it's gone. I can already feel it diminishing with each spell cast. Every time it diminishes, I feel....empty, hollow. I..." Therogeon pauses, a slight weariness to him that seems to have nothing to do with lack of sleep nearly consumes his features.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to unload on you. You came here to make sure I was all right, and for that I thank you. I am surviving. Please though, let me turn the question back to you. How are you? You have come through much more than all of us on this journey, and I do not just mean Dagadar.

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The priestess heard the weariness and sorrow in his voice and wondered if it bordered on hopelessness... She would be the first to admit how little she truly knew about Therogeon, but that he would feel empty because of a loss of magical power...that saddened her deeply.

When she had fallen victim to Cyric's curse and lost her ability to cast, it wasn't the emptiness of power that troubled her, but the emptiness of spirit. Ashara had lost the presence of Lathander, and that was like losing the closest member of her family.

She desperately hoped that Therogeon had more to live for than power for power's sake.

"I don't feel that I've been through any more than the rest of you." She let the hand that was tugging on her hair, fall into her lap. "We've all lost...all suffered down there in our own ways," Ashara raised her eyes to meet his, " but I think we have gained immeasurably more than we have lost."

She wanted to stand and go to him. To give him a hug and tell him it would all be okay... She wanted the same closeness with Therogeon that she had with the others, but the rolling sea and the fear of his reaction kept her pinned to her seat.

"You're among friends here, Therogeon... Don't think you have to shoulder your burdens alone. We're here for you. I'm here for you."

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Therogeon smiled warmly at her, "You really are an angel, you know that. A kind soul in a sea of darkness. No, I know you are here if I need you. I do not at the moment. I do not sleep well, have not ever since we sealed the throne. I am sure that is the cause of my melancholy."

"That and other things, to be sure, but it is not something I can share easily. I mean no offense, but you would have to have seen what I've seen, realized what I've realized, and know what I know. Truly, I don't mean to offend, it's just....things have changed recently and I'm just figuring out exactly how much has changed....how much I have changed."

He sighed wearily, "Oh, umm, and before I forget. I need access to the group fund for.....something I'm working on. Please, no questions about it. I can't share right now but I do promise, it will be for the benefit of the group."

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Though she heard the words he was saying, they seemed oddly out of place...they just didn't seem right coming out of Therogeon's mouth! Perhaps she had misjudged him. Perhaps he wasn't out just to gain power for the sake of power, but instead to use it to combat the dark forces that surrounded them. This time she didn't resist the pull to comfort. Ashara stood and took a few careful steps toward the mage before wrapping him in a hug.

"I can't understand what you've seen, or what you know, but I do understand what it's like to carry a burden you feel you can't share with anyone. I may not be able to comprehend, but if ever you're ready, I'm ready to listen." The priestess smiled as she pulled out of the hug, still resting her hands on his shoulders.

"And of course you're welcome to whatever you need from the group fund! No questions asked, I promise!"

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Therogeon blinked in surprise as Ashara wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. It actually took a minute before his brain registered the fact that she wasn't attempting to heal some injury he hadn't realized he had acquired but was actually comforting him. He gently, almost hesitantly returned the hug.

"Thank you my dear, I do appreciate it. Unfortunately, I have to request a chance to attempt to sleep. Exhaustion is creeping in on me and I fear I do not have the strength to fight it off."

His face, most significantly his eyes shown with sincerity and gratitude as he looked directly into her own, "Ashara, Thank You."

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She had been battling the nausea all morning, and looking into Therogeon's shifting eyes seemed to weaken her constitution a bit. Ashara's face turned green and her eyes widened, as she put her hand over her mouth and bolted out the door. She bounced off the hallway walls a few times before she was able to make it on deck and over to the railing. After losing the little breakfast she had, she sat, slumping against the rail. This was going to be a long voyage...