Post Mortem Discourse

8th of Neth, 4714

It was evening when the Wayfarers entered into the village of Wartle. It was not one of Colin’s favorite stops, but it was hospitable enough. More of a frontier stop then a true village, they still had the occasional inn and tavern. A tavern which like the rest of Wartle was raised up above the swampish land on stilts.
Even the fussiest adventure would prefer resting here to sleeping on the ground.

Neth was pleasant enough during the day, but the nights were getting colder. They had left Magnimar quickly enough on their new mission, that they weren’t as prepared as they should have been. Pyraxis and Elle were seeing about collecting some cold weather gear, while Colin went to the ‘Lean-to’. While he couldn’t say he liked it there… it was the best tavern in town.

Sitting alone he ordered the local flavor… Bog Grog. It tastes about as good as it sounds... but he'd found if you drink the local favorites, you have slightly better odds of not insulting the locals...

"What do you mean, 'It's just a mosquito?'" From the bar, the familiar querying lilt of a young girl rose above the monotone din of tinks and clinks and conversation within the tavern. Penny held aloft little more than a speck between her thumb and her forefinger so that the bartender might get a better look. "The snow could start flying any day now, so there's no way this is just a mosquito. It's entirely too cold for these things to still be around!"

Taking a moment to fish around in her pack, she retrieved a small lens and clipped it over the right side of her spectacles. "Maybe it's a fey mosquito," she wondered aloud, remembering their last visit to the Sanos Forest. "Maybe there's a mmm. . . a thin spot between our world and the First World near here. Or maybe it's a wizard breeding these things. Of course it would have to be an evil wizard to breed cold tolerant mosquitoes. . ." Her voice started trailing off as she forgot about the bartender and began meandering her way back toward the entrance, still peering closely at the insect between her fingers.

"Oh, hey Colin!" One hugely magnified eye brightened as she caught sight of her friend and plopped down at his table. "Look what bit me! I think its an evil fey mosquito, but I can't be positive yet. I'm wondering what kind of diseases these must carry. . ." The youngest Quink pulled out a little vial and deposited the bug inside for further study.

She eyeballed her companion curiously. "Do you ever get bitten by mosquitoes? I mean. . . with your particular peculiarities, I'm just curious if they don't leave your blood well enough alone."

"Hmmm?" Colin looked up from his drink, mildly aware of his surroundings. "Mosquitos?" He smirked a bit at the random question. Penny had a peculiar curiosity sometimes...

"Oh yes... I get bitten by mosiquitos. I suspect it's because they are relatively stupid creatures that can't tell the difference. Somehow I doubt they survive long after trying to drink from me... but they don't figure that out till it's too late." He shrugged and chuckled.,"Or perhaps I'm 'human enough' for them. It's not something I've actually studied yet. I guess I focus too much on the bigger bloodsuckers out there."  


He pointed to his drink. "Do you want a 'Bog Grog'? It only tastes half as bad as it sounds... but Pathfinders should get to know all the cultures right?"

"Yeess. . . " Penny responded cautiously. "But my father always advised that one should avoid consumables that can alter brain chemistry." Unclipping the removable third lens on her spectacles, she packed it and the mosquito vial away for later. "From the way he relayed this advice, I'm guessing he was trying to help me avoid making the same mistakes he had made. I strongly suspect that he was into some harder substances in his youth, though my mother will neither confirm nor deny if that's true.

"So all that to say, 'No thank you, I think I'll pass.'" She grinned at him and rested her elbow on the table, plunking her chin into her palm before inquiring most innocently, "But why are you here alone? Don't think I haven't noticed you've been keeping yourself to yourself lately, and that's just not like you. . . Are you on the outs with someone?

"No... nothing like that," he said warily. "Well, actually... I guess maybe myself. I'm feeling my age a bit I think.."

He took a long drink of his grog and scrunched his face up. The dhampir wasn't entirely sure where to draw the line between local 'flavor' and 'aftertaste'. Setting his drink down, he shook his head and continued.

"That last mission took a lot out of me. Shook me to the core I think.  I've been in some tight spots before, lost friends and allies. Death isn't really a stranger to me, but I've never actually 'died' myself before. I don't remember much anymore. It's a lot like waking from a dream... but I have this sense of... frustration I guess. I failed as spectacularly as I could have. The monster killed me, and at least two innocents paid the price too... Not to mention however we left that town...  

"You helped right some of that by bringing them back...and I'm glad of it,  but that's your atonement, I was still a corpse when all that was accomplished."

He shrugged as he tried to find the right words. He barely understood himself, so how likely was it that anyone else would understand. "I'm over a hundred years old... Hundred and thirty next month. I'm older than most people I meet. I've had friends who were younger than I am go to Pharasma... and then it was my turn. My goals and plans may be a bit lofty, but at the same time... they were unfulfilled.

"A hundred years should have more to show for it..." He smirked at the serious tone he'd taken. Long ago he had left angst behind... but apparently that well never truly runs dry.

"Sorry you asked?"

Colin had been so quiet for so long, that it took Penny aback to hear the words now tumble out of him like some great waterfall of frustration and melancholy.

"I've never been sorry for asking anything and I'm certainly not going to start now," she stated matter-of-factly.

"There was nothing pretty about what went down in Nidal," the girl agreed, "but I really don't think it's fair of you to shoulder the blame. . . I mean, we are a team, right?! The Wayfarer Vanguard! If we fail, then we fail as a team, and if we succeed, then we succeed as a team." Penny reached across the table and curled her fingers around the dhampir's hand. "If we make right a wrong, then we do so as a team. You're part of that, Colin, even if you weren't here just then. You would have made that decision with the rest of us, I know you would have!"

"You're right," he said without question. "I would have, and am I'm so very glad with the way the team handled it with me... gone. Still, I feel disconnected from the whole thing.

He looked over at his young friend. She had grown in the few years he's known her, but she was still young. Almost as young as he was when he started all those years ago...

"What about you? Any second thoughts about adventuring? Nidal... was nearly as bad as I've ever experienced. Nobody was turned into shadow... so in some ways, we actually got lucky."

"I don't disagree." Penny withdrew both physically and emotionally as she considered what their little band had been through. "The shadows exploding from that poor woman's throat. . . The trauma of that monster plant thing inside of the mirror, and then seeing what Nicasor did to you, the baroness and her child?" The girl folded her hands in her lap and stared at her fingers. "It was a bad couple of days. I mean, I knew there would be bad days. . . I've read all the stories, including the ones where things didn't turn out so well. Including the ones where the heroes were never heard from again," she added. Hesitating a moment, Penny peered up at Colin over the rims of her spectacles. "But reading the stories is different than living them.

"So yeah. . . We got lucky. I know that. I know that I'd rather not have to go through something like that again," she grimaced, "but you know who else got lucky? The people of Karpad."

Penny shoved her spectacles back up the bridge of her nose and smiled a tremulous smile at her companion. "If we hadn't been seeking that very ioun stone and arrived in town at the very time we did, it is likely that there would be no humans left. And maybe no fetchlings left either, 'cause mad as he was, Lucien Groy would've gotten his way and hung 'em all high!

"So the way I'm choosing to see it, is that we saved a LOT of lives by our actions in that town. It wasn't as seamless and elegant as any of us would have liked, but they are better off because we were there, and isn't that all we can ask for as adventuring heroes?

"Maybe I don't ever get to be a famous Pathfinder and prove all my father's theories correct. Maybe you don't ever get to find the root of all the undead on Golarion and find a solution to the infestation, but I really think that doing good -- helping those that we can, is a good way to spend a life. Whether that be but sixteen years, or one hundred and thirty."

A look of doubt crossed Colin's face as he thought of that cursed town. So many theories of his, and so many mistakes. So many mysteries still unsolved.

"I hope you're right... We stopped the black mirror. The tallow throat infection shouldn't spread anymore... but I still don't like leaving those shadows to run rampant. Nor, do I like the way that priest seemed relish the idea of undead shadows." The dhampir couldn't hide the growl in his voice at thought of undead.

"I still don't understand where they went after... hatching. There should have been more missing then what we found. I don't like unanswered questions...

"I suspect we're the same in that regard." He couldn't repress a grin at the comraderie he'd found. "I DO take comfort in knowning that we stopped the plague from getting worse, but I hope the priests do their jobs and saved Groy and the rest..."

He shook his head in disgust. "Zon Kuthonians.... "

Her nose wrinkled in response. "I don't like them either, and I have no idea why anyone in their right mind would choose to follow the tenants of such a vile power. Just yuck." Penny offered a mock gag to further express her opinion on the matter.

"As to all those questions, maybe when Drax returns he'll have some answers we missed out on. In addition to the ones you've mentioned, I was also hoping to learn more about the baron's missing shadow. And that book! OH how I would have loved to have gotten my hands on that," she sighed wistfully. "We all hated to leave in such a rush -- with so much unfinished and unknown, but the Baron was hardly in the frame of mind to answer our questions, and if we wanted you and his family back, we had to move! And we did," she grinned. "Want you back that is!

"Did you have second thoughts when you returned? Thoughts about taking a different path?" Penny questioned him meekly. "Maybe choosing a different life?"

"I'm not sure," he said hesitantly. "Like I said, my time 'away' is vague at best. Just remembered feelings of frustration." He was took another drink and stare into his cup.

"Since then though, I have dreamt of lost friends. Kymil, Syfer.... Llyndrathyl." The name stung on his lips in a way it hadn't since she'd been lost at sea. "I suspect I was tempted to stay behind. Continue on to my next reward.

"I'm not sure where I would end up honestly... The only god I really followed was Aroden, Nothing else really fit just right... Probably the closest would be Pharasma, but there's as much that doesn't fit there as does. So who knows where I'd be claimed... Hopefully somewhere pleasant." He chuckled to himself as he brought his mind back to the present. Something was nagging at him as he scrunched up his eyebrows.

"Wait... do you mean after coming back? Like just retiring and working in the forge full time making weapons for 'other' adventurers to use??"

He laughed fairly heartily. "No...I really don't see me as the retirement sort. Even if I the reality is that some of the people I've saved in the past, have still died by now... I take no small amount of pleasure knowing that I helped them to live happier lives then if I hadn't been there.

"I suspect that's one of the main reasons I came back."

Penny smiled. "Well, I know I'm not the only one glad that you did. The Wayfarer Vanguard would be all the less without you!

"But I wasn't thinking retirement so much as. . .a divergent if parallel course of heroism. I mean, there are lots of ways to do good and to save lives, right?" she considered, shifting in her seat. "For instance, I've wondered if maybe I would be more of a help doing research for the Society than being out in the field. Someone to be back in Magnimar looking for shard and ioun stone locations for example."

The letters S.A.G. had been rudely carved into the wooden table where the unlikely pair were sitting, giving the girl's fingers something to fiddle with -- tracing the curves and lines of the unfamiliar monogram while she spoke.

"You've been around a long time and you have lots of different skills and therefore lots of different options. Me? Well, if you're looking for a mighty warrior, you certainly won't find that here," she frowned. "I can't track or hunt or pick locks or disarm traps, and I don't even have the ability to cast powerful magics. What I do have are a very particular set of skills. . . skills that proved completely useless during the fight with Nicasor.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to help keep you upright, Colin," Penny whimpered. "I'm sorry you had to go through being. . .dead and stuff. Maybe I'm not the only one that felt impotent during those critical moments, but I wanted you to know that I've not been dismissive of what happened. I too, am just trying to deal with it and learn from it, so maybe next time I won't be the team's dead weight again."

Colin raised his eyebrows at her statements. Sometimes he forgot how young she was, even though it was a running joke amongst them all. He remembered the doubts and insecurities when he was young, though they didn't burn the same way when he'd grown. Now his frustrations were more a nagging feeling. Annoying yes, but he knew he'd get past them.

"I think you're a bit hard on yourself Penny," he said softly as he leaned forward. "I don't hold any blame against you... sometimes things like this just happen." He eyed her for a moment and wracked his brains. "Did I ever tell you about when I was your age?" He remembered telling one of the Quink girls, and was actually pretty sure it was Penny, but it may help to hear again.

"When I was just starting out, I lost most of my first adventuring party too... though we weren't fortunate enough to have the ability to raise anyone. I tended to use spears and quarterstaffs myself, because Syfer was a tad overprotective of me," he smirked with a fond glint in his eye, "or he didn't want me in the way...

"Regardless, I thought my... natural gifts would make up for my inexperience and wasn't even close to being right on that mark... It wasn't exactly our first mission, but I watched most of them die one night. Syfer was crippled. Crispus, Colleen and Dagmire were killed... I staked two of them myself. I was fairly useless in that mission... if not an actual hindrance in my own right. The next few years I wasn't very pleasant to be around. They were my friends and family... and I believed I had utterly failed to protect them. Though as I look back.. had I not been there, Syfer would have bled out in that crypt himself... and who knows how many would have fallen to Colleen and Dagmire in the decades since? And considering how much those two despised vampires... that in itself would have been the worst part. If nothing else I staked them before they actually committed their own worst fears..."

He called over the waitress for another drink as he let the old memories wash over him. Talking about this had made his mouth dry and Bog Grog was better then nothing. "4640 was even worse... I'm pretty sure I never told you that one..."

"I was still in Caliphas, a large city in Ustalev. very cosmopolitan. I hadn't seen anything like it at the time... Lot of foreigners and trade routes through there. I'm not that surprised that I've heard they moved the Capital there." Realizing he was drifting, he shook his head and refocused. "Right... 4640. Ardis was the capital, but Caliphas was still a big place. Lot of strangers moving around, and a breeding ground for creatures looking for prey that nobody would even realize disappeared... At that point I had made some small name for myself by fighting undead. Usually small things, though I had accumulated a lot of protective knowledge at that point. My group could clear out some skeletons, stop some zombies... and most importantly how to protect yourself from vampires. One thing I learned back then... sometimes you can't actually kill the monsters," he couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice with that admission. "Sometimes you're just happy to 'stop' them. A good warding was a solid win in those days.

"My group and I were hired to help a sea captain with a problem. Member of his staff had disappeared recently, and others were getting afraid. His world seemed to fall apart when he returned from every trip. His daughter insisted nothing was wrong... which we had unfortunately heard too many times. Brinna  was our cleric at the time and she was the first to suspect a vampire, clever little gnome that she was... Roge was our wizard. It was small group, but it was tight one. Brinna was right... but she wasn't completely right. When we finally tracked down the missing staff, they were behind a hidden wall that even the Captain didn't know about. They were torn apart in the most gruesome manners possible... That was when I met  Ioan Rastavan. Not just a vampire... but a Nosferatu.

The aged dhampir shuddered uncontrollably and what little color he had drained away. "Nosferatu... are different. They are supposedly oldest of vampires, and while they are immortal... they still age. They are... the most monstrous looking vampires among a host of monstrous looking things. Worse yet, they know it. They hate the living... and desire it all the same. When they aren't looking for a cure of their conditions... they are trying to suck the youth out of any victims they can... and ripping to shreds anything that crosses them. They are cunning... and intelligent... and they hold grudges.

"Too this day I'm not sure what made the Ship captains daughter so special... but Ioan flew into a rage the like I haven't experienced since. Even with all of our experience... we weren't prepared to fight something of his caliber. He tore through my friends like they were paper... By the end of that fight I was the only one who survived... Not Brinna, not Roge... not the daughter... not even the house as fire took it. Just me... and Ioan.

"That was my last night in Ustalev... I was only saved by the dawn, but even without the threats he leveled at me as he scurried to the shadows... I knew he would kill me the next night. I hopped the first ship I could and made my way south to Kyonin..." He finished his latest drink and waved off the waitress. He was finished drinking for this night.  

"The key as I see it... is to put things in perspective." He eyed her for just a moment before nodding to himself and fishing through his bag, produced his pathfinder journal. The early pages were filled with names. It wasn't something he'd actually shared with anyone before, though she certainly recognized most of the names. "When I first started with the Pathfinders I tried to evaluate everyone as best I could. Figure out their strengths... their weaknesses... and most importantly what they bring to any future groups I set up. Who could be an ally, who would make a good contact... who to avoid at all costs." He flipped toward Penny's name and slid it across. Her entry had three stars by her name on the top.

Early impressions.

Intelligent and mostly focused. Curious. Knowledge of ancient Thassilon Potential contact with library of the same!

Aware of her weaknesses with personal doubts of her strengths. Still young though. Hopefully confidence will grow without becoming over-confidence. Seems aware of dangers, but not afraid of them.

Bears further observation.

"You got your first star after my first discussion with you... and by the time we'd graduated, you had two more. Nowhere in my evalution does it say anything about being a mighty warrior. You have different skills and different talents. You help focus the rest of the team to be more effective... and that's something I find very valuable. If I were given a choice of groups, I'd have tried to recruit you." He smirked as he flipped through the book again. It had been a while since he looked at these sections. "In fact, of the Wayfarer Vanguard you were probably the only one I would have! Elle has one star for her undead knowledge and desire to destroy them... however, I wasn't entirely certain she could work with a Dhampir... I didn't want another Colleen on my hands... My notes on Pyraxis state a lot of respect for his fighting prowess... but I wasn't sure how an oread could blend in with a crowd... and Drax... well, I'll just say he is a bit unpredictable for my preferred methods..." he winked as he shut the book up and tucked it away.

"Regardless of my initial evaluations... I think the Wayfarers have been rather successful. It hasn't always done things the way I imagined... but we're still meshing, and who's to say my way would have been better. As I think I've demonstrated... I've had some rather spectacular failures in my time...

"As for your... particular set  of skills... Again, I say to look at the big picture. You are not... and probably never will be the greatest warrior of all time. However you're no slouch either. I still remember the little girl attending combat training your first few weeks. Don't compare yourself to what you aren't... compare it to what you were. I think you'll like that comparison better. You've fought and killed more things then I had at your age at least." He grinned and nudged her with his elbow. "And if it still bothers you, I'm always open to help train you some more.

"Regarless... as for Nidal... Keep in mind, I'm going off second hand information here, but when I raced after Nicasor, weren't you healing Pyraxis? From what I've heard, he was the only one who didn't drop in that fight. I know I saw him take some heavy hits in the cellar... So if he was the one who saved us all, I think you get some of that credit too. Had you NOT been there, Pyraxis would have succumbed to his wounds, and we would all be dead... the family would still be dead... maybe even the Baron, though I think I heard Nicasor claim he wanted him to suffer. Still, I'm not a diviner, I wouldn't be surprised if the Baron forced his own death... or did it himself later." His eyes opened a little wider as a thought crossed his mind.

"That's IF we ever found how to kill the mirror... If you were back in Magnimar instead of researching there... the whole town could have been lost to shadows...."

Penny blinked up at her pallid companion, absorbing his words of encouragement and the stories from a life long before she was born.  Sometimes she forgot how old he was, even though it was a running joke among them all.  It meant a lot to hear someone who had so much experience both in life and in adventuring, say that she was worth having on the team!

"Maybe you should be carrying this around," the girl offered a teasing grin, wiggling her spear just enough so that the Vanguard flag waved lazily at the end.  "I didn't realize you had such a knack for inspirational speeches!"  Gently she closed his journal and pushed it back toward its owner.  "Thank you for that.  I'll certainly continue to provide support to our team in any way I can, and for now. . .maybe you're right.  Maybe that's in the field.  Considering all the Thassilonian artifacts and ruins we're dealing with, I do feel as if I can be a help there, but it's in the gritty, brutal parts -- when things get desperate, that I feel weakest.  I'm working on that though," Penny insisted with a smirk.  "Working on being versatile and ready for anything!

"But I'd like to hear what happened with that nosferatu!"  She exclaimed excitedly, eyes widening at the prospect.  "Did he ever try to track you down?  Was he the only one you've ever encountered?"

Colin smiled at her enthusiasm, but that smiled faded at her question. "Well Penny, Like Nidal, that story doesn't have any real closure either. I escaped Caliphas the next morning and sailed away. That was the last I saw of Ioan Rastavan. In the dark of the night though, I still find myself looking over my shoulder. Seventy some years later and he still terrifies me.

"He was too much for me to destroy and I hope that someone else was up to the task. He was the first and hopefully last Nosferatu I ever met. I've done a fair bit of research on them since though. They share most of the weaknesses that regular vampires do. Sunlight destroys them, Coffins, garlic, Holy Water... but they can't blend in... Vampires have a habit of blending in with their prey. Charming them, seducing them... playing the role of a human and seeing those around them as servants or pets... they can become attached in a way. Nosferatu can't really do that." He hesitated as he thought about it and then shrugged. "Well, with magic anything is possible... but I'm speaking in generalities. Nosferatu... People are food. They need them for their blood and youth... they despise them out of jealousy... Even other vampires look on them in fear of what they could be.

"Just think on that... Nosferatu are the boogeyman that Vampires fear!" He couldn't stifle a shudder at the thought. He was still scared of Rastavan all these years later, and he wasn't even ashamed of it. "They are ancient, powerful, and combine savagery with patient cunning... Quite possibly the worst kind of enemy that you can make."

He smirked and gave her an exaggerated wink. "But I have been known to be an overachiever..."

"Well I certainly hope we don't encounter that, let alone anything worse than that," she stated, horrified at the prospect.  "Undead creep me out.  I'm glad you and Elle seem to have a handle on it. . .or at very least know what needs to be done to deal with them or when to run!" 

Memories of disembodied heads flitted through Penny's mind.  She shook her head sharply to dislodge the images.  

"You know. . .  I once read a theory that surmised undeath was something spread to Golarion from another planet in our solar system.  There are those that believe there's a whole planet full of liches and dead stuff floating out there!  Can you imagine that, Colin?!  I'm glad there are people like you who are actively trying to stem the tide."

"I've heard that rumor too... but I don't really believe it. I just CAN'T. My quest isn't likely to succeed anyway you understand, but if the source of undeath actually IS from another planet? What do we do then?" A strange noise that was half growl and half sigh escaped him as he leaned back. He really hated this theory.

"I've heard similar things about the elves, but those rumors actually have references and evidence to back them up... A single race coming to Golarion... Sure, why not. But everything from ghouls to wights to litches and vampires??

"I don't know... it seems like a weak theory, and I've never read more then supposition. There would still need to be a 'source'... some kind of super-undead that all others sprang from then. I haven't heard anything like THAT...

"Now, blaming it on necromancy? We've seen more modern versions of that being done today... I can more easily believe they were either accidental or even intentional experiments in the early days of magic...Maybe THAT wizard/priest came from another planet... but I still think it's a perversion of magic...

"At least I hope it is. There's still some faint hope to break the spell then..."

"There's always hope," Penny agreed, her smile widening to a broad grin, "and I hope I'm the one there at your side recording it when you achieve that goal.  What a story that would make!
 
"I know the Vanguard has had some tough missions and maybe we're going through some growing pains as a group right now, but I have big expectations!  When we learn to work together as a team, I just know we're going to accomplish big things, Colin.  I know it!   I have every confidence that I've hitched my wagon to the right star."

The girl wiggled a bit, causing their glittery flag over her shoulder to flutter as if in agreement.

Colin laughed heartily. Optimism was a wonderful thing, yet not something he was used to in a group. This was  a pleasant change.

"How about yourself? Our current goal seems right up your alley, but did you have any other long term goals? Something that drives you in particular to go on these mad quests of ours?

"What does Penelope Quink want to remembered and recognized for?"

"Why, the stories!"  Penny exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in all the world.  "Your stories -- the Vanguard's I mean  -- written by me!"  The girl sighed and slumped back into her chair, staring wistfully into a certain rosy future she hoped theirs would be.

"I am very aware of my limited adventuring skills, but by the gods, I just know I can spin a good yarn about all of these exciting undertakings!  You all will be heroes of renown!  Pathfinders of legend!  And I, as your official Chronicler, will have a little part to play in pushing you up that hill by recording your tales to be read by generations of Pathfinders after I'm gone.

"But that's just the selfish bit of it," she admitted sheepishly.  "I also want to work out the particulars of..." Penny leaned in and continued in a whisper.  "the shards.  Once we get them together?!  THAT will change the face of what we know of ancient Thassilonian history, and that will -- I mean would have, made my dad proud."  She pressed her lips together and her brow furrowed in consternation.  "I guess that's selfish too. . ."

The girl pulled the beaten leather journal from her pack and flipped to the end of the text to write, "Guard against narcissism."

"A selfish motivation is fine with me as long as it's an honest one," he said with a chuckle. "I much prefer that to people who claim to be better then they really are. Regardless, I'm sure Daddy Quink would be quite proud, and even envious of you from what I've heard of the man. After all... HE never made it into that Crows Piling."

He rose up from the table and stretched. "Well, Penny... I don't know about you, but I think that's it for me tonight. We have some long miles to put in tomorrow... and it's getting late. "